I agree that I do have that bias, as someone who has made a lot of friends through the internet. But I think the effect where more and more attention is captured by internet creators still has an effect on people who are entirely offline in that they are competing with those creators for people’s attention.
The closer you to the social top-N% individuals, the more pronounced that effect for you. Event some 30-40 years ago, you would likely maintain your hometown connections much more diligently than we do it now. The internet added a lot of pressure (I'd rather call that opportunity) for smart people to socialize without geographical restrictions.
"And since attention from others has a fixed supply^2" "at least, much more so than material wealth"
I want to mention it's funny i have the opposite view, attention has the especially variable supply, and material wealth is less variable (more difficult to catalyze?).
The quality and abudance of attention can increase just like in meditation.
Think of societies that cultivate quality attention between individuals in a community, like Algonquin longhouses.
Both material wealth and attention have the same root: the Mind.
in our case, quality and abudance of attention depleted as people's minds fray.
unfortunately, quality attention from ourselves and others is what holds the mind together.
There is a hindsight effect that is hard to untangle, we also try to find value in people we like. The abstract "liking" giving enough need/want/reason to seek it in them, a self fulfilling narrative.
I think this overstates the degree to which we find our friendships on the internet
I agree that I do have that bias, as someone who has made a lot of friends through the internet. But I think the effect where more and more attention is captured by internet creators still has an effect on people who are entirely offline in that they are competing with those creators for people’s attention.
The closer you to the social top-N% individuals, the more pronounced that effect for you. Event some 30-40 years ago, you would likely maintain your hometown connections much more diligently than we do it now. The internet added a lot of pressure (I'd rather call that opportunity) for smart people to socialize without geographical restrictions.
Ahh, this is great and obvious-in-retrospect, I'm never going to see loneliness discourse the same way again.
"And since attention from others has a fixed supply^2" "at least, much more so than material wealth"
I want to mention it's funny i have the opposite view, attention has the especially variable supply, and material wealth is less variable (more difficult to catalyze?).
The quality and abudance of attention can increase just like in meditation.
Think of societies that cultivate quality attention between individuals in a community, like Algonquin longhouses.
Both material wealth and attention have the same root: the Mind.
in our case, quality and abudance of attention depleted as people's minds fray.
unfortunately, quality attention from ourselves and others is what holds the mind together.
so it is a negative spiral all the way.
There is a hindsight effect that is hard to untangle, we also try to find value in people we like. The abstract "liking" giving enough need/want/reason to seek it in them, a self fulfilling narrative.